


You're In Love

by thestrongeststars



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: And I mention them a lot, And Kay isn't much better either, Bodhi is really confused about feelings and friendships, But there's no details, Friends to Lovers, Human K-2SO, I have a lot of feelings about Bodhi and Jedha, M/M, Pining, sex is alluded to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 06:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestrongeststars/pseuds/thestrongeststars
Summary: Bodhi was in the kitchenette, burning toast. He didn’t care, he hadn’t been able to taste anything since the day before. Kay came in, wearing a simple short-sleeved shirt that was one size too small and his fatigue pants, looking confused, which was strange because Kay was rarely ever confused. (But Bodhi didn’t care about the shirt or the look because they are justfriendsandfriendsdon’t gawk at muscles through white t-shirts or gush over cute expressions).“You okay?” Bodhi said, looking up from his burnt toast.“You’re my best friend.” Kay said, matter-of-factly.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Two Imperial defectors find themselves stuck in hyperspace together and struggle with feelings and tension and insomnia. Bodhi would blame it on Kay's lack of clarity and Kay would blame it on Bodhi's obliviousness because, yes, he does care, as evident that he gave his shirt for Bodhi to wear the morning after and he makes breakfast and really this whole 'I love you' thing is overrated.





	You're In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whalebone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whalebone/gifts).

> Ah! It's been so long since I've written any fanfiction! This was a lot of fun to write and I really hope you enjoy it. It was supposed to be a short 1,000 word fic about cute, soft feelings and became over 3,000 words with many, many feelings! I mention some other characters and ships, but it's mostly about Bodhi and Kaytoo. I admit, there's some clunky dialogue and a very cheesy ending, but it's definitely one of the better pieces I've written. Enjoy!

“No, no, Kay and I just friends, I swear.” Bodhi Rook said as he played the win of the game (again), most of the other players around the table grumbled as Bodhi stole the winnings that he righteously (however righteous playing sabacc could be) won. Except for Han. Han didn’t grumble, which Bodhi thought was odd because he just lost a ton of money that he owed to an infamous Hutt and he tended to be a sore loser. Instead he leaned forward, his eyes brightened by the overhead light over their dingy table that they were using in a maintenance closet.  
“Yeah, sure, whatever you say…You just like to stare at him and when he’s not there it just really messes up your day.” Han said, and well, Bodhi couldn’t deny that Kay was a noticeable being to look at (he was over seven standard feet tall) and it’s a fact that he has very nice blonde hair and sharp blue/gray eyes and a really nice figure, and sure, when Kay was on another planet, another mission, he was sad. But more than friends? No, didn’t sound right. Friends were allowed to look at other friends and friends were allowed to miss each other. The other pilots laughed, good naturedly, and the game continued, but Bodhi couldn’t get his mind off of Kay (but that was okay, because friends were allowed to think non-stop, compulsively about other friends).

The next day, or rather later that morning, Bodhi finds himself in the mech bay, looking for Kay. He looks over at the station that Kay tends to frequent most, a darker corner where lie all the statistics that could make a strategic analyst happy, but Kay isn’t there and Bodhi realizes that he feels almost betrayed, in a ‘my best friend isn’t where we normally meet and of course we don’t have an agreement, but they’re supposed to know’ way.  
“Ah, there you are.” A familiar voice says, and the gut-wrenching feeling goes away as quickly as it came and is replaced with a joy that makes Bodhi feel warm, almost like he has a fever, but happier.  
_‘Didn’t some poets used to describe love as a sickness, like a fever or something?’_ Bodhi thinks, but quickly brushes it off, because he’s not in love with Kay.  
“Hey, Kay.” Bodhi turns around and sees him and he just feels better, a tension he didn’t realize he had been gone. The former security trooper is towering over Bodhi and holding a paper cup, which is bizarre, because Kay doesn’t drink caf after a certain time in the morning._ ‘Probably making a caf run for Cassian’_. Bodhi thinks, and he doesn’t really know where the thought came from, nor why he cares so much, Kay is friends with Cassian and Bodhi isn’t jealous.  
Kay looks from Bodhi to the cup and then holds the cup out to Bodhi. Bodhi blinks before he realizes the caf is for _him_.  
“I got you caf. It’s two creams and two sugars, is it not?” Kay says and Bodhi feels even warmer, but he’s not blushing because that would imply that there was something more going on and there’s not because _he and Kay are just friends_.  
“Yeah, it is. Thank,” Bodhi chokes, which is weird because there’s nothing to choke on. “Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome.” Kay says and he almost sounds uncertain, because its not often that he does things and get genuinely thanked. The look that Bodhi gives, an honest, open smile makes Kay believe that he is experiencing happiness and he almost smiles back. 

They’re on a mission, not terribly serious one, just a scouting mission to a planet called Hoth. It’s a cold planet, which Bodhi is used to, but his last cold planet was Jedha and he remembers, he can’t forget the sky being replaced with earth and the violent shaking and the loudness that a planet made blowing up, but he decides to go anyway. It’ll be just him and Kay, Cassian and Jyn are on a recon, and Chirrut and Baze are too busy with a bunch of new recruits, and Bodhi feels almost guilty about being happy to be alone with Kay. He finds himself on the planet, trying to put on a coat before going outside, but his hands are trembling, its cold and he keeps remember the last time he saw snow, on Jedha, Life Day, with his mother and sister and brother…  
Bodhi didn’t realize that he stopped trying to button up his jacket until Kay is in front of him, his lithe fingers doing it. Bodhi startles himself out of the past and into the present. He tries to thank Kay, but the words don’t come out.  
“This is how the Empire is going to get to us, according to Wes Janson.” Kay says. Bodhi nods because words keep on failing him. “According to him, the Empire sabotages the basic goods that we do have. Imagine that,” Kay says, putting Bodhi’s hood up and grabbing Bodhi’s gloves. “The rebellion’s best pilot sabotaged by a coat with the trickiest of all buttons.” It’s not even that funny Bodhi realizes, but the look in Kay’s eyes, a stark contrast to the white landscape, is enough for Bodhi in that moment to laugh, to breathe, to live. Words come back and yes, Hoth is freezing, far too cold, and there are smelly creatures, but at least he has Kay. (And during the cold days and colder nights, Bodhi almost dreams of something more between him and Kay, but that couldn’t be, because he and Kay are just _friends_). It doesn’t hurt that Kay is in the same room, on the bunk below him.

When they are in hyperspace together, the cockpit seems far too small, yet there is at least a standard two feet between them. Bodhi wants to be closer to Kay, which is normal because friends like being close together. To break the silence, he told a joke, a rather cheesy one and when Kay rolled his eyes and scoffed, Bodhi reached over and touched him on his shoulder. When Kay made eye contact, a solid thirty seconds later, Bodhi realized his hand was still on his shoulder. He jerked his arm back so fast he was afraid of dislocating it and he tried to apologize, but Kay didn’t say anything, he just stared.  
As Bodhi left the cockpit to get more caf, Kay put his hand where Bodhi’s was on his shoulder. Kay ended up following him to the tiny kitchenette area in the ship.  
“Bodhi.” Bodhi felt the hand on his shoulder before he heard Kay, and he stopped making caf and looked up to see blue eyes and tousled blond hair. It’s like a scene from a cheesy romcom, but it can’t be because _he and Kay are just friends_. It was easy to be calmed just by his voice, his presence, even the sight of Kay. Bodhi’s embarrassment is quickly diminished, and he forgets about his caf as he and Kay go back to discussing <strike>gossiping</strike> about other people.

The next morning, while still in hyperspace, Bodhi was in the kitchenette, burning toast. He didn’t care, he hadn’t been able to taste anything since the day before. Kay came in, wearing a simple short-sleeved shirt that was one size too small and his fatigue pants, looking confused, which was strange because Kay was rarely ever confused. (But Bodhi didn’t care about the shirt or the look because they are just _friends_ and _friends_ don’t gawk at muscles through white t-shirts or gush over cute expressions).  
“You okay?” Bodhi said, looking up from his burnt toast.  
“You’re my best friend.” Kay said, matter-of-factly and Bodhi feels his gut turn and feels warm again and he can’t think, which is ridiculous because it’s just a friend confession, there is nothing more-  
“Yeah, you’re my best friend too, Kay.” Bodhi’s throat hurt as he said it and he couldn’t figure out why he felt like crying out into the void of space where nobody could hear and Kay has an almost disappointed look on his face, but he doesn’t say anything else.  
Bodhi spends the rest of the day mentally kicking himself; he realizes that he didn’t want a best friend confession, he wanted a love confession, which is absurd because he’s okay with being just friends with Kay (but it wouldn’t hurt if there was more, if the pining Bodhi felt was somehow justified by a much stronger bond than best friends, but Bodhi’s okay being friends so he lets it sit and weigh down in his heart).

Later that night, Bodhi’s still stressed, even if he’s accepted the fact that he and Kay are just _friends_ and now the word hurts in his mind, like touching something with a burnt hand. He can hear Kay underneath him, shifting, awake.  
“The odds of you sleeping will go up by 65.21% if we sleep together. It’s too cold in here and human presence has shown to improve the odds of overcoming insomnia.” Kay says and Bodhi can’t argue with those odds which is how he finds himself in Kay’s bed, sharing a blanket, even closer than they were in the cockpit. The tension climaxes as the silence gets to be too loud and he and Kay haven’t broken eye contact for a minute and suddenly Kay’s mouth is on his and it’s softer than he expected, warmer too. His tongue works for an entrance into Kay’s mouth and once it’s granted, he maps out his mouth like he wants to memorize it. They spend the night whispering and moaning each other’s name and their hands on each other and there is no war or galaxy. Time is moving far too fast and the night blurs by.  
Bodhi doesn’t really consider it love, no, not really, because they haven’t confessed, and friends help each other out with insecurities and insomnia and tension and it’s not friends with benefits because they’ve never done it before and there’s more to them than just that. It was a mere one night ‘I would do anything for my best friend’ thing and Bodhi’s okay with that because he likes being friends with Kay (though he wouldn’t complain if it were to happen repeatedly).

“I made breakfast.” Kay says when Bodhi wakes up the next morning and stumbles out the quarters, he can hardly walk, he's so sore from the night before.  
“Thanks, Kay. You’re a good friend.” Bodhi says without thinking and grabs a piece of toast, ignorant of Kay’s indignant look.  
“Friends? Bodhi, we’re not just friends.” Kay says. Bodhi blinks, pouring himself coffee, looking at Kay, who has his arms crossed.  
“We’re not?”  
“You’re wearing my shirt,” Bodhi realizes that might be why the shirt he’s wearing comes down nearly to his knees. “I don’t think friends kiss each other or do anything we did last night.” There is a hint of embarrassment in Kay’s voice, but his tone is factual.  
But friends share clothes and that thing last night wasn’t out of love, it was pure, clean-  
And it clicks in Bodhi’s brain, and he’s afraid that it might be loud enough for Kay to hear. Friends _don’t_ kiss each other like that, or make love like that, or wear each other’s clothes or, or, or….  
“Well it’s not like you confessed or anything.” Bodhi retorts and it’s his turn to cross his arms and glare up at Kay. “How was I supposed to know that what we did was out of love and not because that’s what friends do if you” Bodhi says in an accusatory tone, pointing at Kay. “Didn’t confess?”  
“I did!”  
“When?”  
“Yesterday!”  
“You said that I was your best friend!”  
“Well I meant more!” Bodhi should be grateful that Kay has practically confessed, but he is the pilot that flew the Rogue One team to Scarif, he made a run at the Death Star and he wants an honest to Force, true love confession. Also, he is very confused because, Force, he really doesn’t understand where to draw that line of friend, and love, and lover, and friendship. “What, do I have to say, ‘I love you’ for you to get it? For you to get that friends don’t kiss each other or have sex or share beds like that? Do I have to say, ‘I love you’ for you to understand any of that?”  
“Yes.” And it occurs to Bodhi that if anyone were to walk in, it’d look absurd to see two grown men arguing this way – they’re inches apart and glaring, the room is both too hot and too cold, too loud and too quiet. The argument itself is really absurd, but so are the feelings surrounding it.  
“Fine. On one condition.” Kay says.  
“Yeah?”  
“I want to know that you like me back.”  
“Wouldn’t that be obvious from last night?”  
“With that logic, I shouldn’t have to confess, but here I am…”  
“Okay, yes. I like you back, but I’ll only admit after you confess.” Bodhi stubbornly chases after the thing he wants, the confession, the love, the requited love, because he’s a pilot to his core and pilots will go to great lengths (literally) to get their target.  
“You just admitted it.” Kay says, brows furrowed, his ears are red, (Bodhi learned from last night that’s how Kay blushes), and his hair is still ruffled from last night.  
“Denial.” Bodhi rolls his eyes. He rather likes being in charge being the one leading and his heart is pounding, years of pining are about to be justified and he’s about to be reciprocated and he’s excited like this, chasing the victory to completion.  
“You’re being childish, and you display an immature attitude about feelings and confessions.” Kay looks away, takes a deep breath, loosens up a bit, uncrosses his arms and puts them on Bodhi’s shoulder. When his eyes meet Bodhi’s, all signs from the stress of the argument are gone and Bodhi finds himself loosing tension as well.  
“Bodhi Rook, I love you.” Bodhi feels the air sucked out of him, as though by the Force itself, and the floor sinks beneath him a bit.  
“Wow.” Bodhi says, breathless. He knew it was coming and yet, the actual words leave him feeling as relieved as when the plan to get through the shield on Scarif worked. “I-I love you too.”  
“I’m glad that we got that over with.” Kay straightens up, and Bodhi is alive again, and whacks him on his arm and laughs.  
“I expect more confessions in the future.” Bodhi says and he realizes that he has a _boyfriend_. “Can I call you my boyfriend?”  
Kay gives him a confused look. “Well, that’s what we are, is it not?”  
“Yeah, but…” Bodhi swallows. “If you’d rather go back to being just friends, I understand.”  
“Why in Corellia’s Nine Hells would we do that? Yes, we’re dating and we’re going to be the rebellion’s best couple.”  
“Technically, Chirrut and Baze are the best couple, everyone knows that.”  
“Not anymore.” And the conversation continues over breakfast and caf and it feels nice to have someone to talk to, someone that’ll listen, and Bodhi realizes it’s just like when they’re friends, except they’re _boyfriends_, and _boyfriends_ get to kiss each other and make love and be in love and really it’s so much than being friends. 

They spend they’re final night on the ship together in Kay’s bed again, except there is no tension, they just both can’t sleep, the Empire has managed to haunt them both again and Bodhi sees Jedha and the Bor Gullet and Saw Gerrera’s malicious face and it’s too loud.  
“Do you ever have nightmares about…” Bodhi and Kay are still up, it’s the middle of the night. “the Empire?” Bodhi asks, staring up.  
“Yes. It’d be inhumane not to.” Kay says, curled up (to get all of him on the bed), and he’s looking at Bodhi. “Why do you ask?”  
“While we were on Hoth, all I could think about was my family, Jedha.” Bodhi confesses and it feels great to finally be able to say it.  
“Jedha was a rather cold planet.” Kay looks down, his gray eyes shifting. “I’m sorry I didn’t think about that while we were on Hoth.”  
“Cold planets are inevitable; I was going to bump into one sooner or later.” Bodhi chuckles, a sob nearly following, but it stays in his throat, and it aches. “I’ve been having nightmares about Jedha.”  
“I have nightmares too, it’s natural.” Kay admits, to and for Bodhi and Bodhi alone. Not even Cassian knew the horrors that Kay saw in the night, of missions and battles long before Cassian met Kay.  
Bodhi turns to look at him, nearly smiling at him in the near dark, making out Kay’s face by the blue streaks of hyperspace that come in through the window. His eyes are wet, but there are no streaks of tears. Kay has an urge to pull Bodhi closer, but his body doesn’t want to cooperate, so he settles by running a hand through Bodhi’s hair. All this feels strange, foreign. He had never been taught to show affection or love, just how to shoot and obey orders. Bodhi doesn’t move away, so Kay takes that as a silent order to not move his hand away.  
“What do you plan to do after the war?” Bodhi asks, as the night drawls on, sleep comes and goes between the two of them.  
“That sounds like a question Senator Mothma would ask.” Kay says rather cynically. “I don’t really know; I estimate the odds of the war ending with us winning in the next five years are 3.54%.”  
“You’re my favorite analyst.” Bodhi says, his voice fond and moving closer so he’s practically on Kay.  
“Do you have other analysts I should know about? I don’t take cheating lightly, Bodhi Rook.” Bodhi laughs and it’s the last thing he remembers doing before falling asleep, his head on Kay’s chest, arms wrapped around the much taller man, Kay’s fingers in his hair, and one arm around his waist. 

Bodhi finds himself watching Kay in the mech bay in Hoth, observing the concentrated look, the glint in his eyes when he strikes a precise percentage, the lithe fingers that work the channel board. He hears someone stand beside him and he feels their presence a second later, as they lean in.  
“I think you two are in love, with each other.” It’s Luke Skywalker, a good man, and Bodhi’s friend.  
“I should hope he loves me – he told me he did.” Bodhi says, turning to face Luke with a furrowed brow. He and Kay had discussed it and they decided to be open about their relationship, because unlike the Empire, the Rebellion couldn’t afford to court martial everyone caught fraternizing in the ranks, and many in the command did it (but there was to be no public displays of affection, Kay was adamant about that). It was mostly Bodhi’s idea; Kay really wasn’t on board until Bodhi said it was a form of rebellion. Bodhi got a lot of joy when he saw Luke’s eyes widen and he ran off screaming ‘Han! Han! I’ve got something to tell you!’. Bodhi chuckled at seeing so much of that kid from Tatooine. When he looked back at Kay, their eyes met, and Bodhi felt like he was at home, no longer in an army where he had a couple of friends and some family.  
Kay walks past him and leans down, just a bit to not hurt his neck, seemingly analyzing Bodhi’s face.  
“I love you, Kay.”  
“In public? How scandalous.” When Bodhi gives him an exasperated look, Kay says, “I love you too, Bodhi.”  
_‘Home is where the heart is at.’_ Bodhi’s mother once told him, and well, if that is true, then Bodhi’s home is no longer a dead planet that was unjustly killed, and while Jedha still torments him and rests in his heart, his home is with Rogue One, with Kay. Kay is home, and there is no other place that Bodhi wants to be than at home.


End file.
